Standing naked in my hotel room overlooking niagara falls. Its gonna be a good new year.

Finally on the plane.

I love air travel. One hour late and counting.

Waitng on the train to take me to the airport. Time for anadventure to the great white north.

Kataude mashin gâru, AKA The One-Armed Machine Girl

Here we have a movie filled with a mutilated schoolgirl, yakuza, ninjas, excessive violence, and a drill bra. If that doesn’t sound like the setup for one of the most perfect films of all times I don’t know that I want to go to the movies with you. The only thing missing from the story is zombies. However this is just the trailer and there is still time for some serious zombie goodness. Throw in the fact that the schoolgirl in questions seriously looks like she could give Ash from the Evil Dead series a run for his money and it really just screams out for some zombie goodness.

Would zombies make it too perfect though, maybe if the ninjas were replaced by zombies that would make it better but keep it from ending the entire film industry by creating a movie that cannot be topped. Anyway, ninjas can always be replaced with zombies.

Back to the subject at hand though. The only true problem I see with this movie is that it isn’t out yet. It doesn’t come out in Japan till next year, then we have to wait for a translation. Then we will have to wait for Tarantino to decide to bring it over here in a dubbed form. I can trust Tarantino to be all over this thing and have enough sense to just bring it over and not try to do some horrible American remake with Sarah Michelle Gellar.

Now we just have to wait until next year to see if this can take the title of most perfect movie ever.

~JN

This is a close up photograph of a Chigger.

Anyone who has spent enough time outdoors has probably heard of these little bugs.  Obnoxious little bastards that make you very uncomfortable if you get attacked by them.

This is an example of stupid ass son of a bitch motherfuckers who are too ignorant to understand that because a word sounds the same as another it doesn’t mean the same thing.

The Daily Redundancy - Science Archives - Offensively Named Pest Gets New Moniker

“We recently buried a word almost identical to that one.” said Isaiah Herman, Executive Director of the National African-American Coalition of People. “We applaud the AAE for taking steps to keep that word dead.”

In case anyone reading this is unsure what “that word” is that the ignorant motherfucker Mr Herman is referring to its nigger.  I’m stating it here since it is so well buried that you might not be aware of it.  Actually, I’m fairly certain that anyone reading this probably knows the word, knows the controversy around the word, and more than likely has uttered a derivative of the word at one point or another.  I would also like to state that I can understand why the inbred bastard son of encephalitic siamese twins Mr Herman is opposed to people calling each other niggers.  It’s a racially charged term that can really be conveyed much more specifically by calling someone something much more creative and fun like a tapeworm lodged in the ass of a four hundred pound syphilitic whore.  That however requires some degree of intelligence and quick witted responses to specific situations which is why simple derogatory terms are so popular as insults.  This brings us right back to the real problem here.  There are far too many ignorant people that can’t understand that chigger and nigger are two separate words completely and totally unrelated.

What’s next on the list for removal from the english language?  Bigger, everyones favorite bouncy stuffed animal Tigger, what about trigger, or digger?  Do I really need to keep going here.  I don’t think so.  Do you think I am just being foolish in thinking that anyone would look to remove these words because they might be confused with an offensive one.  I would have said the same thing about someone trying to convince me not to call a bug a chigger because it might offend someone.  This is right up there with worrying about a name harming a whales self respect.

The real epitome of stupidity in this whole renaming process is the other choices that got struck down on the way to the new name.  Redbugs which is the other common name for chiggers was dismissed as potentially offensive to Native Americans.  Does anyone here like Big Red gum?  Wonder what they will rename that to?  They tried playing around with names referring to a favorite home for chiggers, spanish moss.  Nothing they came up with there was deemed inoffensive to Latinos.  So finally after who knows how much wasted time and effort they decided on fire mites as the new name.  Excellent choice.  I like it.  However, I have no plans to use it.  I don’t see why I should use a word that a committee came up with as opposed to the common name that has been in use for years and most people know.  If I walk up to my mother and ask her how bad the fire mites are in the woods around her home she isn’t going to have a damned clue what I am talking about. 

Please don’t let the ignorant people of the world take away our language because it sounds similar to words that offend them.

~JN

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Name That Whale, Quickly! (TreeHugger)

Voting is being extended until Dec. 7, supposedly due to popular demand (and perhaps vain hope on Greenpeace’s part that their whale will get a decent name). Do your bit and save a whale’s self respect.

Stupid hippies.  Don’t fuck with the internet.  We are made up of a series of tubes, and those tubes are full of people with a sense of humor and a true understanding of the futility of life.  You are trying to save this whale’s self respect.  Do you really somehow fail to grasp reality in regards to this whole situation.  Quick primer on reality.  This whale doesn’t speak any human language.  We as humans are still unable to speak to whales. This Whale doesn’t give two twitches of it’s dorsal fin what we balding apes call it.  It will never understand that its name is Mister Splashy Pants.  As far as it is concerned we could call it incest rape baby of toothless shit farmers.  The Whale doesn’t care.

Know what the whale does care about?  Food, not getting killed and having a good place to swim.  If you are concerned about the whales well being keep focused on that and accept the fact that a lot more people on the internet will now be thinking about the plight of whales because they helped name on Mister Splashy Pants.

Final thought on this issue.  Greenpeace may have extended voting to continue garnering attention and support for the whales which is what this is really about, but they did not do it to avoid the name Mister Splashy Pants.  Don’t believe me, check out their cafepress site. Yeah, they don’t like Mister Splashy Pants at all.

~JN

If you have not voted in the great whale naming of ‘07 feel free to go and do so here.

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It’s things like this that make me love the internet.

~JN

via Ectomo